a life in review

So I should probably do one of those sum-up-the-year posts even though it's five days after 2007 and I officially suck at blogging now. Whatever. It's gonna be kinda depressing, but you're being forewarned so read on if you dare.

In high school I used to do a lot of thinking about my life. Reflecting, deflecting, pretending I was a better person. It was lame then and it's even lamer now. These days instead of thinking, I do a lot of worrying about my life. Worrying if the proverbial clock is going to run out on me. Worrying if I can make my ass get in gear before I'm buried too deep to escape. Worrying if I'm wasting my parent's time and money. Worrying if I'm ever going to open up to people beyond 10 second humor and music blogs. Worrying that my existence is so shallow even I can't live with it.

Even my vacations aren't so carefree, but that's my own fault.

I just finished reading through my old blogs posts from the past few months. God, I sound like a retched, irrational, stressbag! I don't know what a stressbag is, but I definitely write like one. It's truly sad, but the only time I sound halfway rationale is when I do music posts, and really now, what did I just say about 10 second humor and music blogs?

My secret wish... in this sacred place
Is to relinquish needs
The great constant is perpetual change
So when we leave, as we know we will
Some of us remains, consecrated and unchanged

From blood we came... to ash we return again
These carbon hearts, and terrestrial hopes
From our first goodbye... to the last hello
Pray we carve our paths... from God's sacrosanct

Circles in stars they bind us now -- we're pretty animals
Colors around are bled of love -- we're hopeful animals
Kiss me now so we can feel alive -- we're conscious animals
Circles in stars they bind us now -- we're sacred animals

The love we crave
that binds, bends
but never change
feeds faith in faith
that I search for in everything

BT, you defy.

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Meet the Author

Hi, I am Julie.
Sometimes Jules Juke.
This is where I ramble, reflect, and refocus.